


Future vs Past

by Shadow7



Category: Blake Shelton (Musician), Gwen Stefani - Fandom, Shefani
Genre: F/M, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Love, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 14:37:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11404485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow7/pseuds/Shadow7
Summary: Gwen and Blake have their first major fight... Is Tony's fault?DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FICTIONALI'm sure Tony is a great guy and that Gwen and him are in good terms. This is just me writing to take shit out of my head.I've been in a depressing and sad mood lately and well, I wrote this and to be honest it came out pretty natural and I loved the result because nobody has written anything about the boys of ND and their relationship with Shefani. I REPEAT THIS IS FICTIONAL, so this isn't real life...Tony's married, Gwen and Blake are happy and will be forever... so chill.Thanks for the kudos and comments :) :*





	Future vs Past

_-Dude, you have to chill. It’s Gwen we’re talking about-_ Adam had been saying that for the last two hours, trying to calm me down. He was failing, failing miserably because my brain was all about my fight with her.

_-I know…and that’s exactly what terrifies me. Shit. We are so different and it feels like she’s only finding out about it, right now. As if the last two years she didn’t notice it and suddenly she realizes that…I’m a country music singer from Oklahoma-_ I was angry, my voice raising with each of the words leaving my mouth, disappointed, confuse and terrified to the bone.

_-Dude, calm down. You’re just uncomfortable because she’s going out to dinner with her friends-_

_-Her friends, one of them being her ex and the same friend who just got a divorce, and suddenly needs her 24/7-_ That motherfucker, Tony fucker had returned to Gwen’s life after two years of absence with a divorced news and the need of a “friend”. Fucking son of a bitch.

_-Dude, you and Gwen are good, in a good place, calm down-_

_-We have been fighting lately, too much. We never fought before and now, everything I do, pisses her off-_ I haven’t told this to anyone. The fights started a little over two months ago, started as some stiff comments about some stupid things and that would be forgotten the second I tried to seduced her, but the other day, it turned into her swinging the door of the bedroom after she spat out why she didn’t want me to go to Warner Brother Nashville’s party this weekend because she couldn’t go. So if she couldn’t, I couldn’t? When was this a thing?! It had never been a thing and now it was…

_-You didn’t tell me you guys were fighting but besides, all couples fight. It’s your time, rocky times, a relationship is never so easy and you guys have been having two years of pure sick teen love. What have you tow being fighting about?-_

_-The other day, out of nowhere she told me “Tony reminded me something I forgot.  How much of a PETA supporter I was and you hunt, that’s wrong” She used the word wrong, I just…fuck-_ That had hurt, it had felt like a knife cutting through my soul and … it hurt. After she said it, I stood there quietly looking at her, waiting for her to realize what she had said, she didn’t. She looked at me, dead eyes and we maintained that look until Kingston came over asking for my help to do something with wood, I don’t even remember what it was.

_-Did she? But…why suddenly she notices that. You have always gone hunting, never hid it and never promised anything, like it’s part of you. I have grown to move on from the fact that you do it… and I thought she did too-_

_-The reason has a name, snuck his tongue inside her mouth decades ago and it’s right now on a dinner date with her, as an unmarried man-_

_-Gwen’s gonna do nothing, she ain’t a cheater-_

_-I’m not saying that she will cheat. I’m saying that this guy, has already reminded her one of the reasons we had a deep talk in the beginning of our relationship over two years ago, one of the things that we used to laugh about… and he did that, in two months. That motherfucker, they never had the courtesy to be with her right after she announced her problems with her ex, they weren’t there when the divorce, I was there. They never congratulated her on her album or encouraged her with it, I did. They created a sucky band -that nobody liked - outside of the one with her, without telling her. And now, that he’s having a bad time, she HAS to go and help? Why?!-_  I felt my eyes stinging. It actually did, I took off my cap and took a long swing of my beer, trying to pretend that the tears forming in my eyes were because of the liquor and not because of my sadness.

- _I don’t know what to say, buddy. Talk to her, try to break through-_ I just nodded, knowing that I had tried that before, without any kind of success, whatsoever.

After a couple more beers, I headed home. I wanted to be there when she returned. I had arrived, took a shower and took all the time since leaving Adam’s to create a plan or at least a way to break through what we were having.

As I left the shower and went to bed, nodded off until I heard the front door opening and I heard a couple of voices and laughs coming from downstairs, it was almost five in the morning.  I went down and found Gwen with her arms around Tony’s shoulders, laughing, drunk and trying to shush him.

_-Hello-_

_-Blake…did he woke you up?-_ Gwen was slurring her words, drunker than I thought. Drunker that I have ever seen her.

_-I did not… You woke him up. I bet he wakes up early to take care of the corn-_ Tony said and she laughed. I just looked at him. I felt my rage going up.

_-Common, Gwen. Let’s get you to bed-_

_-No…I don’t wanna. I wanna be seventeen again. And … yes, again seventeen-_

_-You can’t. Let’s go to bed-_  I was starting to get worked up.

_-Why are you being mean?! Tony’s never mean. He liked my seventeen-year-old self, I liked her too. You wouldn’t like her. At all. She was soo different that my current self-_

_-I think I would-_

_-No…she would have hated you, hunter. She loved her animals and you killed them. She hated southern rednecks, and look at you…even your pajamas are plaid. Stupid-_ Tony answered for her. I was going to break his face. Hard and I would enjoy it.

- _Tony… shuuuus. Blake isn’t a bad person-_ A bad person. I’m a person, not her boyfriend, not her fiancé but a person.

- _Whatever-_

_-Common, Gwen-_  I walked up to her, lifted her in my arms and went upstairs with her.

- _I have changed so much with you, sometimes I don’t even recognize myself-_

I laid her on the bed, took off her shoes and went downstairs, called an Uber and got the bitch in it and out of our home. He slurred the directions, not my problem if he got killed. I didn’t fucking care, hell… I hope he did. I felt that pressure on my chest again and my eyes filled with water, I took deep breaths at the entrance of the house and made a decision, a decision I might regret but one that had to be made in this moment in time.

I came back to the house, took a glass of water and a couple of Tylenol for the pain. Got her a trashcan right next to her and I went back to bed and for the first time, in two years, we slept in the same bed and we weren’t touching, we didn’t say sweet nothings and didn’t even talk. I didn’t sleep at all.

I got up at seven, took a shower, got ready and called the pilot to arrange the plane for three pm that same day, destination: Nashville, specifically a party Gwen didn’t want me to go to.

It was barely eight when my phone rang while I was making my bag for the weekend in Nashville. It was Pharrell.

_-Hey, Pharrell-_

_-Hey, Blake. How are you? Listen…Is Gwen there?-_

_-Yeah, she’s sleeping-_

_-Good, good. I got a call from Tom saying that they all got pretty drunk and well, he didn’t remember if Gwen and Tony got home alright. Is Tony there?-_

_-No, I got him in an Uber to his place-_

_-Really? Ok… just checking. Everything alright?-_

_-Why wouldn’t it be?-_ I was pissed and I knew my voice sounded like it.

_-Well… They all got into talking and remanence and well, things might have gotten a little out of hand and well… just checking they got home intact-_

_-What do you mean with outta hand?-_

_-Nothing, just old stuff. Remembering good times…old times-_

_-When Gwen was seventeen…I imagine-_

_-Did she say that huh? When I caught up with them Gwen was pretty drunk and it was around 11, I left a couple of hours later but she kept saying…-_

_-That she wanted to turn the clock back down…I know she said it many times. She also said a lot of things-_

_-Man, you know how people are when they get drunk…-_ Yes, Miranda cheated and Gwen wished she had never met me.

- _Yeah, listen I got to go. Okay? Talk to you later-_

_-Are you sure? You sound…-_

_-I gotta go, talk to you another day-_ I hung up. Not even feeling guilty about hanging up on Pharrell, which felt like a crime.

I got my things ready and stroll downstairs, made breakfast, catch some news and it was almost noon when I heard Gwen stumbling inside the kitchen. She had gotten on one of my shirts, she had taken a shower and was rubbing her eyes.

- _Hey-_ her voice was low and she winced the second her notes came out of her mouth.

_-Good morning-_ After spending three hours calming down, everything returned quickly.

- _You ok?-_ Before I could answer she went on _\- Why are there bags in the doorway?-_

_-I’m going to Nashville. There’s a party tomorrow. I prefer going today to settle and talk with the boys about the new record-_

_-I thought you weren’t going-_

_-No, you said that you didn’t want me to go. But I guess, we both had agreed that you don’t always get what you want-_

_-What’s that supposed to mean?-_

_-I don’t know. You tell me. What happened last night?-_ I said it. The anger and pain sounding loud and clear in my voice.

- _Blake… I don’t know what are you talking about?-_

_-You know…drunk people say and do a lot of things that are hurtful, I didn’t think you were one of them-_

_-Blake… it was… stupid and I was drunk, I barely remember when he kissed me-_

_-He kissed you…-_ I felt my world crumbling once again. It seemed like something that happened often with blondes apparently. I couldn’t listen, I heard white, I never thought it was possible but there I was, stopped, white and I could feel the tears that had been threatening to fall since the day before, running down my cheeks, one single tear in my right eye falling down my beard. The world was going in a fast pace and I was stuck in my place, my hands over the kitchen table, my head down and I felt the air leaving my chest.

_-Blake…Blake… Listen to me. Nothing happened, I pushed him away. I didn’t kiss him back. I told him I was in a relationship, he knows I’m with you-_ She talked quickly and put a hand on my shoulder. Everything went to normal, everything but my mood. I was pissed.

- _Yet, you came back with him, drunk, falling over your ass. Telling me how much you wanted to be seventeen and how much I have changed you. I wonder what would have happened if it was the other way around. What would you have done?-_

_-Blake… nothing happened. He’s my friend and he’s going through a hard time-_

_-Yeah, where was he when you were going through your divorce? Was he here? Hugging you? Getting you out of bed, wiping the tears off your face…because I don’t remember him at all being here like I was. You said that you had changed with me, but amazing how, he in two months, has changed you back again. Right? I guess people don’t really change or move on-_

_-What? No… you haven’t changed me. I have grown to like other things to be and to live other things-_

_-Yet, I’m wrong because I hunt and eat meat. I’m wrong because I don’t give a crap about the fact that you’re a city girl who never, before me, lived outside the city. I’m wrong because I want to spend time with you and at the same time give you time to be you because I’m not obsessive like clearly you two exes seemed to exceed in the area-_

_-No…no… Blake, listen-_

_-No…I get hurt too, you know? You can hurt me too. You are hurting me-_ I said it, she didn’t answer. Looking straight into her eyes and feeling in a hole, again. I guess she tucked me out of one and returned me to one just a few feet away from the last one. I saw tears pooling in her eyes and I saw her take a huge breath.

- _Blake. Tony is my friend. We had been friends for thirty years. That’s a lot of time. WE have gone through a lot. Yes, we dated, decades ago and yes, he kissed me last night for three seconds. That how long it took me to push him away and to say no to him and to tell him that I had a boyfriend and that I loved you. The fact that he did that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, more than anyone I’ve ever loved. That doesn’t mean that… I don’t … need you. He’s clingy and he’s obsessive, yes. But that doesn’t take away what I feel for you-_

_-Why aren’t you coming to Nashville with me?-_

_-Because…-_

_-Because, what? Say it-_ I knew the answer

_-Tony is moving out and he wanted me to be there, with him-_ She said it after a tense and painful silence, her voice small and weak.

_-Why?-_

_-Because we’re friends-_

_-The fact that you don’t see it and that you’re letting that get between us hurts-_

_-You’re the one putting him between us-_

_-Really? Ok… so, you have ditched me no two or three times but over five, because he needed to talk to someone and apparently he doesn’t have more friends. You’re not going with me to a very important party – important for me, because I’m gonna see for the first time Ole’ Red Nashville almost done and I’m gonna get to hear a few songs we have recorded-, right after he kissed you, knowing that you are in fact in a relationship, because he needs help to move out of his house, help from someone who isn’t gonna lift a box. Tell me, who is putting him between us?! Tell me!-_

She didn’t answer. She stares at me, in silence. Completely silent. I nodded and moved over the door, took my bag and actually took my car to the airport. I never do that, because it means I’ll have to drive on my way back, but right now I had to get away from her, I need to put space between us.

 

 

_-Jen-_ I couldn’t hold back the tears

_-Gwen, what happened?!-_

_-Blake left to Nashville-_

_-Oh, honey. I know, he was telling dad and Todd how excited he is to watch the Nashville venue-_

_-Something happened… I … I need to talk to you-_

_-Gwen…-_

_-Please come, please-_ I knew she was gonna fly here, she was gonna be here in no time and I was trying my hardest to not fall apart and jump out of the window. As I knew she would, Jen was there in twenty minutes with Todd.

_-What happened?-_ She sat down and looked at me.

I started rambling, about everything. About Tony’s reappearance, about Tony’s apology and Blake’s anger, about the trip, about last night, about the kiss, about this afternoon, I talked and talked and talked and I couldn’t seem to stop. I even brought Gavin into the conversation

_-… nobody seems to understand it. Tony is my friend-_

_-He’s not a real friend-_

_-Todd!-_

_-He’s right-_ Jen agreed with Todd, leaving my mouth wide open.

_-Jen!_

_-Gwen, what kind of friend, comes back, scrambles your life knowing that you’ll do anything for him, pushes you around, asks and is given and undeserving easy way out of all the shit he pulled through in the last two years, kissed you and jeopardize your relationship – your very good and healthy relationship- and then tries to make you see that it’s Blake’s fault?-_

_-He didn’t do that-_

_-Gwen… you just said that he has been telling you about how different you and Blake are, he convinced you to not go in one of the most important days of Blake’s life and kisses you right after he does! And yet, you’re here, trashing the only really healthy relationship you’ve ever had-_

I stood there, silently, thinking. Thinking about what Todd had said, thinking about what Blake said and trying to remember my drunken night with Tony, my talks with him and the boys, his mean words about him, his comments and his hurtful jokes. I sat in the couch holding my head trying to not make a mess of me as I did and trying to get my head together, is it Blake or Tony the real decision?

I knocked on the door hard and fast. I had thought about it, I had worked through it and I had made a decision, confronting. It had taken me at least an hour of talking, of crying and at the end, I had come to a conclusion that might hurt a really important part of my life that had become toxic. 

Everything went to shit, the second Tony showed up at home with a sad face and an apology for disappearing from my life, Blake hadn’t liked it, not even one bit. And I didn’t see it, I couldn’t see the reason why Blake had been acting all weird and stiff and it wasn’t until he started talking about what had been happening the last couple of months that I had returned to the whole… Tony thing.

I have never been able to understand what happens to me when he’s around, to say that he didn’t have a huge effect on my relationship with Gavin was a lie, he did. Tony had, has, too much power over me, something I never understood until Blake, Jen and Todd had said what they said Blake with tears in his eyes and his voice so low and gravelly, it hurt to listen to it, and even more to remember that I silently let him go.

_-Gwen, sweetly. The moving is tomorrow, but I’m glad you’re here. Come, let’s drink something-_ He grabbed my arm and pulled but I didn’t move.

_-I can’t. I’m going to Nashville right after this-_

_-What? Why? You said you were gonna help me-_

_-Before that, I told my boyfriend that I was joining him for tomorrow’s event. So, I’m going-_

_-Gwen… what are you doing with that guy? Nashville? Country? Who are you?-_ He said with what now sounded like a fake laugh. – _You’re not this, you’re not a cowgirl, you’re LAMB. You two are so different he’s only gonna bring you a heartbreak and a new record for No Doubt-_

_-I’m Gwen Stefani, not only vocalist of No Doubt also a solo recording artist. I’m not the woman you left two years ago on her own when she was hurting the most. I’m the new version, the best version yet. The one who has learned so much about herself that is ridiculous. The one that now sees the world in different colors, the one who accepts that her boyfriend isn’t perfect nor he tries to be, the one who tells corny jokes and kisses almost every single man on their cheek –including my dad- I'm a woman who loves a man that hunts and eats meat and tells this horrible stories to my kids – which they love for some reason-, the one who’s the one who bathes Apollo when he’s grumpy, the one who taught Zuma how to cheat in poker and who’s the only one capable of putting a smile on Kingston's face after he fights with Gavin… he’s it-_

_-He’s not good for you-_

_-How would you know, if you weren’t there to see what went down? How would you know if you don’t see – right now- what is wrong. Why can’t you accept that I’m happy-_

_-Gwen, you’re so important for me-_

_-You are too… but with that, it comes my family and my boyfriend and my kids who you haven’t been around and I’m pretty sure, barely remember you-_

_-He’s wrong for you, you know it-_

_-You know nothing-_

_-You felt it last night. The kiss-_

_-I think you’re forgetting what happened afterward, my push and your head in the waitress plate that got you all wet smelling like vodka for the rest of the night. I don’t forget that I told you that I had a boyfriend who I’m happy with and that you’re barking at the wrong tree-_

_-Gwen… listen-_

_-No… you listen. If you’re gonna come here and disrespect MY decisions in live, get lost. We are business partners and that’s it. We have been that the last two years… it can grow longer if you make me-_ With that, I turned around, hopped into Todd’s and went straight to the airport. I had a plane to catch.

I took my bag and ran to the room where Blake should be waiting for the plane to arrive. It hadn’t arrived, it was still early, half an hour to go. I walked in and saw him sitting in the plastic chair, his head thrown back to the wall, eyes closed and he looked asleep.

I walked up to him and stood in front of him. He opened his eyes.

_-What…-_

_-I’m sorry. You were right, completely right-_ He shook his head and I talked before he would have. – _It always happens. Whenever Tony had a problem, I ran to him, I don’t understand the reason. I don’t. I just…do it._ \- I put my hands on his chest- _I’m sorry. Jen and Todd gave me a hard talk and after a few minutes of thinking and lots of tears… I talked to him and… I didn't recognize him, the thing he said and the things I remembered saying to you. Blake, you did change me, you made me realized that I had lost my way, I did. I did and said things I swore I would have never. I protected myself with the fact that I was making my husband happy and it didn’t matter then he was gone and … I looked back and hated myself for what I had become… and then you were there, I saw you –_ The tears started to pour down my face- _I saw you being you and living free and sad but free and I realized that I never had that, I missed the opportunity to do that for…vanity and stupidness and … I’m not going back there, I can’t go back to the dark and to the sad songs and to feeling awful… I’ve never being happier and content and calm, in my entire life like I am with you and I can’t fuck it up. I can’t-_ I was sobbing by the end of the monolog, I couldn’t breathe and it turned worse the second I felt his hands around my body, pressing my body to his while he tried to calm me down.

_-Baby, I love you too much to let you go without a real fight. I was about to call you to talk to you, now that I was calm but… I guess we both needed to talk-_

_-I love you, I do. I love you too much-_

We hugged, he sat down and got me in his lap, his arms wrapped around my body and I sat there tight around me until the pilot came to the room with a smile, the plane was ready.

We walked to the plane, hand in hand, got to Nashville, a new beginning and it felt like I was saying goodbye to the past. The possibilities of my relationship with Tony to be mended were slim to not say zero but, we were collaborators, business partners, but I didn’t know about friends.

I realized that my friends, stood up and showed their chest, their love, and support in time of need, there weren’t many but definitely, they were the perfect amount of people to have a small wedding ceremony on a late winter night.


End file.
